Couldn't get myself to watch that video. I just couldn't. If you have no idea what i’m talking about, here’s the short of it. A woman got into an accident with a bodaboda guy, and a bunch of bodaboda guys…no. I'll call them by what they actually are. A bunch of sexual assaulters, rapists and molesters, decided to strip her naked, just because they could.
Not one person from the not-all-men brigade, thought to intervene and help this poor woman, despite her screams of anguish, desperation, and humiliation. Not one. Instead they were busy, stripping the woman naked or recording the incident for whatever darn reason. I can’t tell who is worse. Both are sexual assaulters in my book.
Like clockwork, the whataboutism committee and whatdidshedoists pulled out their thumbs to give their “honest takes and opinions” on social media.
Like clockwork, it took an uproar on social media, for any sort of action to be taken.
Like clockwork, government officials “condemned the heinous act, promising that investigations will be done and the culprits apprehended.” Next there will be a committee of inquiry. Or a taskforce. One that will do absolutely nothing.
On the actual IWD yesterday, a group of wonderful souls held a peaceful demonstration in Nairobi, asking to #endGBV. Asking why our lives are in constant danger. Asking that we be allowed to just live. Freely. They matched all the way to police headquarters to present the petition for bodaboda regulations among other things, and you know who was sent out to receive the petition and make a grand speech full of empty promises? A woman. Not the police spokesman. Not the head of police. Not even chief of Lord knows what that we see EVERY SINGLE TIME there's a press briefing or anything to do with the police. Just a woman. A policewoman albeit, but still. Not one with the authority or actual power to influence decisions.
In Noni Maingi’s words, this organization known for patriarchal behavior, is caught in a mess and decides to clean up their image, by sending out a woman as their spokesman.
The people tasked with protecting us, the men of power, saw it fit to sit this one out, and offer up this poor woman as a sacrificial lamb, as they sat tucked away in their desks, peeking through the blinds, and watching it all unravel on TV.
They must think us really daft.
The truth is, no place is safe. Not for a woman. We’re not safe in our homes because our fathers, husbands, uncles, grandfathers, cousins, nephews, brothers, neighbors are beating us and sexually assaulting us.
Not safe in school because our teachers are touching us inappropriately and raping us.
Not safe in church because our “spiritual fathers” are telling us to show our full unadulterated commitment by giving our bodies to them.
Not safe at work, because our male colleagues think that the size of our butts and breasts are wonderful topics of discussion at the break area. Or things they can touch and feel anytime they want to. And our bosses will only give us promotions or perks if we sleep with them.
Not safe in public transportation because touts and drivers will grab us and touch us and do all sorts of things to get our attention. Male passengers will sit or stand next to us in the bus and “accidentally” rub themselves on us. Some will sit next to us and rub our thighs macho kavu, because they can. Others, far more daring, will kidnap us, lock us in their bus, rape us and cut off our private parts. Yes, look it up. It's happened.
We’re not safe in cabs because cab drivers will marsturbate as we’re seated in the co-driver seat, and ask us why we're turning them on. They’ll ask us why fine women like us are all alone and offer to give us company. They’ll ask us to be their one night stands, mistresses, second wives. They'll child-lock the car and refuse to let you out because they can. They’ll touch you. And call you constantly long after the ride is over. We'll make reports to their companies and they will do absolutely nothing. Except send us generic damage control pre-created templates that say absolutely nothing.
And now we’re not even safe in our own cars?????
And you still think this is about what we wear, how late we stay out, who we hang around, and what we say? You think the only reason we deserve any form of dignity and respect, is if we are someone's mother, daughter, wife, sister, grandmother, niece, or aunt. Isn’t it enough to just be SOMEONE?
I’ll say it again. There is no safety in this world. Not for a woman.
But sure, let's have the men wear high heels on International Women’s Day, and "walk a mile in our shoes". Let's send the women in our lives WhatsApp messages that have been tiringly forwarded from one end of the world to the other, wishing them a "happy women's day"
Let’s all cross our hands and add #breakthebias to our social media posts. Maybe that will give us two weeks of safe passage through the CBD without a man yanking our arms, squeezing our butts and breasts, catcalling us, and hurling unspeakable profanities at us when we do not respond.
Pffft! 🙄
Just leave us alone. Literally. We just want to be left alone.
In black and white! That's what it is. Well said, "We just want to be left alone."