Stop Dimming Your Own Light
When I was first drafting that piece about things I have learned from one year of doing Youtube, my first title of choice was Lessons From A Nobody On YouTube. It was an attempt at coining a novelty headline, but looking back, I think that at the heart of it was that wretched demon called Self-Doubt-Self-Loathe, rearing his stubborn little ugly head.
I have realized that I put myself down quite often. It’s not something I am particularly happy about. Sometimes it’s a subtle small word in a title that completely waters down all of my rightfully-earned skills or achievements. Other times it’s as big as refusing to accept a compliment. Most times it’s using statements that seem ordinary and harmless like “I’m sorry if I sound silly” or “I just edit videos for YouTube, nothing much”. Like Laura, come on! You don’t just edit videos for YouTube. You write beautiful stories, and then you bring them to life in a fun, unique, creative style, that educates AND entertains. Have you also forgotten that from there you switch hats from scriptwriter-editor to graphic designer-marketer for said content? Girl, you’re practically kicking ass at what should be a six-department job! All by yourself? GIVE👏YOURSELF👏SOME👏WELL-DESERVED👏CREDIT!
Okay.
Enough screaming. You get the point, yes?
We water down what we are, the things we have achieved, perhaps to sound more palatable. More relatable. We don’t want to look like we’re bragging. Or taking up too much space.
A lot of this stems from past experiences. Past traumas. People or situations that messed with your self-esteem so bad, that you completely lost sense of your self-worth. But you know what I have realized? My past cannot define me. I cannot be tied down to it and it cannot dictate how I live life in this present day. No. I refuse. I cannot allow it. So now I am slowly unlearning things that I thought were true that are actually harmful and self-destructive.
Which is why I’m not going to call myself a nobody anymore. I’m somebody. A badass somebody if I do say so myself. What I have achieved is mine. My skills are mine. What you are is what you are. Your skills and achievements are yours. You’ve worked for them. You’ve earned them.
Unburden thyself from the yoke of dimming your own light.